Rosebud, Texas-This tiny hamlet on the Texas panhandle is in an uproar following the conviction and jailing of Emma Lordless, a 104 year great grandmother, following a campaign by her granddaughter to have her jailed for running over the family cat. Lordless, who, despite the fact she uses a wheelchair, still drives everywhere she goes in this town of 266 people, accidentally ran over the family cat while backing out of the driveway of her granddaughter's home.

   Lenora Surge, 57, maintains Lordless knew the cat was under the car when she put it in gear, crushing the cat's head. Family court judge Philmore Potts, after hearing from Surge, sentenced Lordless to 18 months in the county jail for cruelty to animals. Friends of Lordless maintains she is basically blind and could not possibly have seen the cat. With good behavior, Lordless could be released in 12 months. No appeal is planned as the attorney representing Lordless doesn't feel she'll live long enough to see it through. Surge has also filed a civil suit seeking damages for the lost cat, asking $250,000 plus fees.

Connors, Ohio-Local farmer Buddy 'Bud' Silkes is claiming the world's record for an ear of corn. Silkes, 23, produced an ear of corn over 15 feet in length and weighing 127 pounds. Asked his secret for such an incredible accomplishment, Silkes told the local television station, CKOR, he prayed with the stalk, slept with it and fed it a mostly secret combination of ingredients which included mouse feces. At last report, no one will volunteer to taste the record breaker.

St. Peters Moon Times

St. Peters Devonshire-Officials are baffled by a recent event which has yet gone unexplained. During the afternoon of October 14, hundreds of thousands of what appeared to be tabs from soda cans rained down on this seaside town, in places piling up to six inches deep. The freakish downpour lasted up to 45 minutes, frightening local citizens and causing town officials to declare a disaster. 

   Evan Cledger, town magistrate, said the phenomenon has local citizens on edge, wondering what could happen next. "It was both scary and magical" Cledger said. "I have never seen anything like it nor do I hope to again. Day turned into night and a soothing clinking was heard all over town." He said because of the light weight of the tabs, very little damage was done and there were no injuries. 

  The town council is considering a local ban on cans with pull tabs until scientists can conclude what caused the downpour.

Las Vegas, Nv-The general manager of a new Las Vegas resort, El Toronteo, was locked in his office for seventeen hours yesterday, unable to be freed by an army of local locksmiths. It seems a disgruntled locksmith from a local company, Greg Jasper, fashioned an electronic lock that no one could release, capturing the manager in his office until he met Jasper's demands. Jasper and his family had eaten at one of the resorts restaurants the night before and allegedly was overcharged. Because he claimed he was 'just doing my job', and made a mistake in calibrating the lock, no charges were filed. The resort refunded Jasper's money for the meal.

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